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A Fascinating Story

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband,dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the president of Harvard's outer office.

The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge.

She frowned. "We want to see the president," the man said softly. "He'll be busy all day," the secretary snapped. "We'll wait," the lady replied. For hours, the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away.

They didn't. And the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted to do. "Maybe if they just see you for a few minutes, they'll leave," she told him.

 

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The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."


 

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This Is GULF

* Local calls are free

* Petrol is cheaper than water, Payment for drainage too

* Any building construction finishes in 3 months

* Unqualified get more salary than Qualified

* Show-off matters more than real quality & performance

* Labourers are paid less than what they can earn back in their own country

* Companies can kick out their employees without any reason

* Wastas (recommendation) are more powerful than money

* Cleaners have more Wasta than officers

* Watchman has more Rights than the Building Owner

 

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How To Catch A Lion?

How To Catch A Lion?



Newton 's Method:

Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.

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Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.

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Five More Minutes.

While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground. That's my son over there, she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide.

He's a fine looking boy, the man said. That's my son on the swing in the blue sweater. Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son. What do you say we go, Todd

Todd pleaded, Just five more minutes, Dad. Please Just five more minutes. The man nodded and Todd continued to swing to his heart's content.

Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his son. Time to go now Again Todd pleaded, Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes.

The man smiled and said, O.K.

My, you certainly are a patient father, the woman responded.

The man smiled and then said, My older son Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Todd. He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch

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ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE

ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAG



Dan: Hello. Jane and I aren't here right now but if...

Jane: Dan, what are you doing?

Dan: I'm leaving a phone message since we aren't here.

Jane: But you left the last one -- it's my turn.

Dan: No, I'm sure it's my turn.

Jane: No, you selfish _#@%@%!$_ (mailto:#@%@%!$) . It's definitely my turn!

Dan: Jane, you ignorant slut. I know it's... wait... Jane... what are you

doing with that frying pan?!?

BONK [really loud thud]


.

.

.

Jane: Dan is out right now, so please leave your name and number

 

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ABBR

Some abbreviations that we hear, read, and use and we don't know their meanings

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GPRS

(General Packet Radio Service)

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FM

(Frequency Modulation)

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AM

(Amplitude Modulation)

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Computers - Male or Female??

Computers - Male or Female??



Computers are Like Women Because...

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No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

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The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

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Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

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Leather Bound Bible

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car.

Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study.

His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat Disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold.

Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible? and stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.

Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages.

His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11, "And if ye, being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him?" As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.

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How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected? I trust you enjoyed this. Pass it on to others. Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for...

IF YOUR GIFT IS NOT PACKED THE WAY YOU WANT IT, IT'S BECAUSE IT IS BETTER PACKED THAT WAY! ALWAYS APPRECIATE LITTLE THINGS; THEY USUALLY LEAD YOU TO ATTACHMENTS!

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Short Jokes

Once in a jungle all the animals

were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA

But girraffe was not eating. Why?

Because Oonche log oonchi pasand

MANIKCHAND

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Girl's excuses:

Phone mat kiya karo dear,

mom hoti hai near,

papa se lagta hai fear,

baat nahin hoti hai clear

Isliye SMS kiya karo dear

without fear n very clear

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